ipodshuffle

Why I Didn't Get Work Done Today

So Zoilus (via Idolator) came up with the concept of "Famous Songs Rewritten as Limericks" yesterday.  And of course I couldn't resist:

Stevie Ray brought his Strat to the jam
When DB said "I'm through being glam.
"I'll no longer be soulful,
"'Sperimental, or doleful,
"So Let's Dance and cash in. Where's my gram?"

Third Avenue and 53rd
I stand without saying a word
Where once I turned tricks
Stabbed a guy just for kicks
Now it's luxury condos ... absurd!

I go driving round Boston pre-dawn
And I must make a Stop and Shop run
Modern music sounds great
Out on 128
I'll always keep the radio on

Never thought that I'd end up a killa
So goodbye Mom, I'm leaving the villa
Vocal choirs heroic
Left me feeling quite stoic
But who the hell is this Bismillah?

Night driving doesn't get better
The moon's pink and I'm loving the weather
My message, though traffic
(To the 'hip' demographic)
Is 'Please buy the Volkswagen Jetta'

Shall I get you a drink, Maggie May?
Though I'm used, I don't care what they say.
While you're older (and how)
Please enjoy my youth now
'Cause 'Hot Legs' is just five years away.

Gettin Wiggly with it

Thus far it's been relatively easy for our family to resist the Evil Cultural Force that is The Wiggles.  We played a few songs on sampler CD's when The Lad was littler, and he might have watched the show a few times on premium cable at his Grands', but he's remained largely unmoved by the group's relentlessly upbeat wackiness.

That said, a couple of cultural artifacts have come this way which deserve note.  One is a bizarre and in some ways incredible Wiggly cover of "Walk on the Wild Side," which according to the Copy, Right? blog is taken from a (promo-only?) covers collection put together by an Australian DJ.

The Wiggles: Walk On The Wild Side mp3

And in order to avoid having to do two separate posts about the Wiggles, I might as well also put up a pretty hilarious mash-up which made the rounds a bit last fall - of the W's with "Blitzkrieg Bop" and "I Wanna Be Sedated."

King Rocker: 2 Ramones Wiggle in a Room mp3

You have got to be kidding me

The Ram Ones tribute album WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY is not particularly necessary but generally adequate, with one glaring exception which bugs me every time I hear it: In The Offspring's version of "I Wanna Be Sedated", Dexter sings the key line as "twenty twenty twenty-four hours ago" instead of "hours to go."

How does a self-respecting punk rock icon (who's not just a snot-nosed young whippersnapper, mind you) bollocks up a key lyric and blow out the meaning to what's possibly the band's best known song? Was it on purpose? Or did he just not know the right line, and nobody felt like correcting him? And why does it bug me so much?

(Maybe he was reading this version of the lyrics online - to that classic "I Wann Abe Sdeated" - oy vey...)

Johnny Ramone 1948 - 2004

Well, I guess that's that.

Nothing against Tommy (who changed his name back and started producing records well before the end of the 70's), or Marky (whose tenure was long enough to almost qualify as an original member) or those other later drummers or bassists, but those three guys in front were the Ramones. Each had a clear role in their ritualized concerts, and apparently each one had as key and well-defined role behind the scenes.

My overall response to the music has been well documented here, and originally here when Joey died - but beyond that, Johnny's death has got me thinking of the nature of fandom (and for that matter, band-dom too). The band's feuds have become increasingly discussed and documented - with the RRHOF induction, the movie opening, and this week's news - but at the time they weren't a particularly important factor. Sure I had a few friends who'd pass along the occasional disquiting tidbit, maybe something they'd read in Creem or NY Rocker - the guys didnt speak to each other, Johnny was a Republican; but at 11 pm and age 18 when I cranked Rocket to Russia, none of that really mattered.

These days at 11 pm, an obsessive 18 year old fan might just as likely sign on to a bulletin board about their favorite band, where they can spend hours deconstructing and arguing about every bit of public news and rumor about the band. Sure that's great right? Information should be free etc. But it puts the bands under such a microscope to have every move and emotion scrutinized, it's a wonder any of them stay together. A lot of bands are made of highly emotional and needy people to begin with, and the pressure run high as they cram themselves in a rolling star chamber with each other for months at a time; then this scrutiny from their audience just adds to the situation.

All of which I guess makes me appreciate Johnny's role, perhaps in retrospect more than at the time. Onstage, the other two guys up front were more accessible - Joey was lanky and cuddly, and Dee Dee got to go 'OneTwoThreeFour.' But the core of the band's sound was rooted in Johnny's unrelenting barre chord attack. And apparently behind the scenes, Johnny was the taskmaster, the drill sergeant who held it all together. That role isn't going to win you too many friends, but it's absolutely necessary if you're going to keep such an insane and amazing venture together for a quarter-century.

----

See also Ben's thoughts in the next post.

And here's a couple of other random things:

Marky's statement - via Aversion.com

And a genius comment on a CrookedTimber post transcribing the purported solo in "I Wanna Be Sedated"

Johnny Ramone Part 1

My friend Ben Liemer, longtime record guy and magazine editor (and still somehow a music fan) writes:

For a band that was virtually indestructible during a 20+ year career on the road, the Ramones have not fared very well in retirement. Dee Dee was expected, Joey not. And Johnny?

Johnny was the heart and soul of the Ramones and to this day remains my favorite rhythm guitar player of all time along with Keith Richards (Pete Townshend, Malcolm Young, & Tony Iommi have to be up there too).

Quick flashback: Summer, 1976, Bowery & Bleecker, on a humid summer night in The Big Apple a 19 year-old Ben Liemer visits CBGB for the first time for their Underground Rock festival. On the bill: Ramones (w/ Tommy on drums for sure) & the Cramps (w/ Bryan Gregory looking like an escaped psych ward patient on gtr.). Alcoholic bums are staggering on the sidewalk outside their cheap flophouse hotel rooms--there's garbage in the streets and junker cars parked nearby. The Bowery Bar isn't even a dream yet and neither are the other restaurants & upscale lounges. All over the radio at this time are the slickly singles of the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan, and the precursors to disco, etc. I pay my money and step into the shithole alternate universe of CBGB hours early. No one has safety pins, spiked hair, torn clothes yet. Except Richard Hell, who was inventing the look due to a severe lack of funds...but I have no idea if he was in the house that night. Few people were wearing all black yet, long hair and bell bottoms were abundant. Some black leather motorcycle jackets could be seen, but it was hardly the live in, on-the-road essential article of punk clothing it would become. My friend and I find a corner against the wall by the left side of the stage and watch as the crowd fills in. Someone says Lou Reed is in the house and it's a bfd because "Rock & Roll Animal" is a classic just a few years old and besides I had the original album cover poster on my wall in college. It's fucking hot and hard to breathe. The rest you know about if you've heard the first album--"Blitzkrieg Bop", "Beat On The Brat" "I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You" just about rip our heads off with perfect minimalism and maximum Marshall stack n Mosrite distortion. The entire set of what?.... 12-14 songs took like 25 minutes. To quote Emeril: BAM!

In the next two months, I saw Talking Heads, Television, and a lot more, bought Patti Smith's "Horses" which was the first major punk release along with "Ramones," and a whole new set of alternatives outside of the mainstream media that I had never imagined existed opened up to me. And remember, there was no MTV, there was no internet, no file sharing, no daily download or watch the video, there was no alternative club touring circuit before the Ramones, Blondie, etc. established it, New York Rocker, Boston Rock and Punk Magazine hadn't been created yet, there were no commercial stations playing this kind of music--hell none of these bands were even signed, except for Patti. To quote "Road Runner" by Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers: "I'm in love with rock & roll and I'll be up all night...." that's exactly how juiced I felt. And that's why I am in the music business to this day.

The Ramones were the saviours of rock & roll--when they played London on July 4, 1976 future members of the Clash, Sex Pistols, Siouxsie & The Banshees and Billy Idol were in the crowd. They all looked at each other and said, "hell, we can do that." Almost overnight a 100 bands formed in the UK. Many were good, some were great, but there will always only be one Ramones. "There's no stoppin' the cretins from rockin" Johnny!

The Ramones Movie

END OF THE CENTURY seems to be finally seeing the light of day, opening in New York and other cities later this month. Here's the homepage.

Ramones: "Blitzkrieg Bop" (1977)

Volume 2 of The First Time Ever I Heard That Song: 15 songs that made an impact

Or at least I think it was '77. It's all explained here, which I wrote the week Joey R died. I guess this was my first pass at online music / life commentary - it started out as just an e-mail of reminiscences to friends, but then got a little big and unwieldy so I decided to post it instead. It still rings true.