Why I Didn't Get Work Done Today

So Zoilus (via Idolator) came up with the concept of "Famous Songs Rewritten as Limericks" yesterday.  And of course I couldn't resist:

Stevie Ray brought his Strat to the jam
When DB said "I'm through being glam.
"I'll no longer be soulful,
"'Sperimental, or doleful,
"So Let's Dance and cash in. Where's my gram?"

Third Avenue and 53rd
I stand without saying a word
Where once I turned tricks
Stabbed a guy just for kicks
Now it's luxury condos ... absurd!

I go driving round Boston pre-dawn
And I must make a Stop and Shop run
Modern music sounds great
Out on 128
I'll always keep the radio on

Never thought that I'd end up a killa
So goodbye Mom, I'm leaving the villa
Vocal choirs heroic
Left me feeling quite stoic
But who the hell is this Bismillah?

Night driving doesn't get better
The moon's pink and I'm loving the weather
My message, though traffic
(To the 'hip' demographic)
Is 'Please buy the Volkswagen Jetta'

Shall I get you a drink, Maggie May?
Though I'm used, I don't care what they say.
While you're older (and how)
Please enjoy my youth now
'Cause 'Hot Legs' is just five years away.